When it comes to dating, so many people would rather be with someone (anyone!) than be alone. And too many people are willing to settle or are way too generous in seeing the potential in their partner.
If you’re serious about meeting your forever partner, then you need to stop dating the wrong people.
Here are a few signs/red flags you need to watch out for to know if your partner really is the one or not.
They ignore or neglect you.
Someone who really loves you knows how special you are. They show you care and attention because they truly cherish you. People who are neglectful are not available for love — to themselves or anyone else.
They are stuck at a very young level of emotional development and no matter how fantastic you are or what you do, they’re simply not capable of giving you the care you deserve, and never will be.
They are manipulative.
Let’s look at this instance –
You go into a situation being mad at them but you end the fight with an apology coming from your mouth, not his. Instead of feeling sorry for hurting you, they make everything your fault and you go right along with it. In the end, you’re not willing to lose them, but they are willing to lose you.
Manipulation is their game, and that’s a clear indication that they definitely don’t deserve you.
They lie a lot.
Your romantic relationship is one of the most intimate relationships in your lives, and what allows it to be intimate is trust. Without trust, there is no relationship. Trust is the very foundation of your relational home. If your partner does not keep their word, you are not safe with them.
Before you even question them about anything, they’ll have a lie ready to tell you. And, when caught lying, they express remorse or embarrassment just to try to get their way out of the original lie.
In fact, everything about them is one big lie and so are their feelings for you.
You can’t be yourself around them.
Does your partner criticize you all the time? Do you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells, in a desperate bid to avoid upsetting them? Do you act differently around them than you do with your family and friends? Do you pretend to like / dislike things to avoid conflict?
If you have said yes to any of these questions, then they aren’t ‘The One for you. You want to be with someone who loves you, just the way you are – not someone who makes you feel small, or afraid, or frightened.
They constantly belittle you.
Love is supposed to make you feel good. The world is going to beat you down, but the person you deserve is supposed to be the one person who will always build you back up. The last person we need to hear more negative feedback from is our partner. There is a difference between a person who offers helpful suggestions and one who criticizes.
You’re worthy of someone who sees how wonderful you are, and not someone who always picks on your imperfections.
You always find yourself making excuses for them.
Your partner is late, again. They cancelled, again. They made you cry, again.
But of course, it’s not their fault because [insert flimsy excuse here].
If you find yourself making excuses for them over and over again, guess what? You’re not the problem and your partner DEFINITELY is. Stop fantasizing, get out of this relationship, and find someone in the real world that behaves in a way you actually want.
You feel anxious all the time.
Bad relationships will eventually cause anxiety. If you find yourself suddenly feeling unexplained anxiety, take a long, hard look at the dynamic of your relationship with your partner.
If you’re in a relationship with a toxic person, you’re most likely constantly stressed out over the state of the relationship, or over-analyzing the constant conflict in the relationship. You probably don’t need meds for anxiety just a new relationship partner!
Everything is about them.
A healthy, loving partner appreciates your love but does not demand it for their own ego gratification. Anything that’s imbalanced, including relationships, is subject to disease. Relationships are a two-way street about each person sharing with each other.
You’ll have an intuitive sense when someone is sucking your energy. Pay attention to that inner knowing because it will only get worse.