Let’s be real – breakups are the absolute worst! We have all been there and we all know how that feels. They are horrendous and it feels as if the ache will never end.
Everything reminds you of your partner (now ex!), and you only wish to go back in time to either relive those times, or mend those broken ways.
When you go through a breakup, the first few hours, days, and weeks can be so overwhelming that it’s hard to know what to do with yourself.
You go through the various stages of shock, denial, depression, anger, bargaining, relapse and finally, acceptance. But the journey to acceptance isn’t easy at all.
Here are ways that could potentially help you deal with your breakup in order to move on and reach that level of self-acceptance.
Allow yourself time to grieve
No matter the circumstances of your split, your feelings are valid and processing them is a journey in itself. The pain is there and it’s real.
Cry, sob your eyes out, scream, yell – find ways to release and let go of the pain you may be feeling.
This is the number 1 rule in the healing process. Feel what you need to feel. Let your emotions run in order to get over them.
Stay away from social media for a while
Whether you’re scrolling through old photos of happier times or hitting refresh on your ex’s profile for an update, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat can be pure poison for the broken-hearted.
Prioritize your mental health and stay away from social media. The more you surf through posts, the more it’s all going to sting you.
Delete old messages, photos and unfollow their accounts if you need to. You may also block their number if you have to, so you don’t obsess about them not contacting you.
Creating a daily self-care routine can prove to be really remedial.
Each day, do something that:
• brings you joy (see friends, have a new experience, spend time on your favourite hobby)
• nurtures you (exercise, meditate, cook a satisfying meal)
• helps you process your feelings (make art or music, journal, talk to a therapist or other support person)
Explore and Have Fun
Do something that makes you smile, laugh and feel good inside. It can be anything – from shopping to going out with your friends.
It can be spontaneous and silly, but it’ll also be so therapeutic.
• Something new and exciting that you always wanted to do alone
• Spend quality time with your friends and family
• Reconnect with long-lost friends
• Explore and develop new habits, learning a new language is a good option!
Try not to obsess and worry over what went wrong
Try to accept that the relationship ended for a reason. Going in circles and feeling angry and resentful isn’t going to help you. Don’t over-analyze what could have been different.
There are infinite should-haves and could-haves, and thinking about them will cause you to spiral.
Focus on picturing what you’d like to give and receive with your next partner, instead.
Don’t rush into another relationship
Don’t bounce into another relationship too quickly, thinking that you’re okay. It is probably the easiest quick fix out there but at the same time, it really isn’t helpful at all.
Getting into a rebound relationship only tends to affect your emotions in the longer run.
Explore and meet new people when you are ready. If you genuinely like someone, make sure you talk to them, take your time to get to know them before taking the move to start a new relationship. It’s also important to ask yourself what kind of relationship you want.
Understand your need before entering a relationship because this can save you from another heart break.
Finally, when you’re ready, forgive
When you’re finally at a place of peace and acceptance, forgive.
Forgive yourself for mistakes you made in the relationship, and forgive the other person as well.
Letting go of the bitterness will help you find that friendship with an ex eventually, if you both want it. More importantly, it will help you move forward.